James Coleman
Quotes/Journals
“I had been educated in the rhythms of the mountain, rhythms in which change was never fundamental, only cyclical"(xii).
Tara Westover, the author and protagonist, is explaining the history of her education in this excerpt. It is not what one might consider “normal”, because she was not taught geometry and english, but rather of survival and independence. Her family believed in a more applicable education rather then one of numbers. It is still an education. She also says that change is never fundamental only cyclical, which foreshadows a large change to come in the novel.
This quote made me ponder the differences in education even today. There are public, private, and home schools, as well as different subjects and different teachers educating their students. I firmly believe that every person receives a different education as they grow up. Life experiences along with schooling shapes one’s knowledge of the world, and their future as well. Westover’s explanation was only cyclical not fundamental, meant that she could expect it. The word cycle makes me think of return, or of a pattern, which means that it was predictable. While this would be nice, I think that change is fundamental in life. It is not easy to expect, but rather happens at the most interesting moments.
“Her eyes are pleasant but unoccupied, as if she’s observing a staged drama”(30).
Westover is describing her grandmother in this quote, using a simile to give readers a deeper understanding of her personality. She compares her eyes to those of someone watching a stages drama. Leaving the reader imagine what that might look like. I see her as being politely interested, but vacant because the situation does not directly affect her. In addition, I imagine the look to be somewhat condescending as well, pleasant but slightly superior.
Westover is describing a look that I see too often in people. It is a look of aloofness, pleasant but truly uninterested. This is an attribute that many people have because on the surface they want to look compassionate and kind, but underneath there is a sense of selfishness that all humans possess. She refers to the eyes being “unoccupied” to communicate the absence of true compassion. To me, unoccupied also refers to someone whose thoughts are not their own. Not in a supernatural way, but in a way that shows that they have let someone else tell them how to think, live, and be.
“College is extra school for people too dumb to learn the first time around”(41).
This is the opinion of Westover’s father in the memoir. He repeatedly reminds his family that school is simply a way for the government to brainwash children and that they would have no part of it. He tells his son who is considering going to college what he thinks about the idea in this quote.
I had to re-read this sentence to make sure I had understood it correctly. I strongly disagree with his statement of course, instead believing that college is a continuation of education, and is only for those who are smart enough to “learn the first time around.” I do acknowledge that there are many who hold the same beliefs as Mr. Westover. They insist that college is not necessary and that learning a trade is much more valuable. I agree that it an be worthwhile, but currently most jobs require at least a bachelor’s degree and many require much more. The better schooling a person has can directly influence their job and how much money they are making.
“The truth is this: I am not a good daughter. I am a traitor, a wolf among sheep; there is something different about me and that difference is not good. I want to bellow, to weep into my father’s knees and promise never to do it again. But wolf that I am, I am still above lying and anyway he would sniff the lie”(148).
This is the point in her life when Westover realizes that she is truly different. She wants to be submissive and obey her father, but knows that it is wrong. For a young Mormon girl, I can imagine that this was a terrifying situation. She had been taught all her life that men are dominant, so for her to realize that she was a “wolf among sheep” was huge. I also think that Westover used the animals to further convey her emotions at the time. Sheep are associated with innocence and purity, which is what her family was compared to. Then, she compared herself to a wolf, because she felt like she was dangerous and was a threat.
This moment of self discovery comes to every person at different times. For some it is when they are in their teens or younger, and for others it is not until they are much older. But it still has to happen. Children are taught by their parents what to believe and how to act, but there comes a point when each person must decide for themselves how they want to be. Their childhood and experiences are influential in that choice, but it is theirs alone.
“I believed then -- and a part of me will always believe -- that my father’s words ought to be my own”(172).
Westover purposely used hyphens to differentiate between the present in the novel, and her real life commentary on the situation. She is able to explain to readers that she still feels this way and thinks that she probably always will to an extent. Her father had such an influence on her that some part of her still wants to follow in his footsteps and please him.
Parents have a large influence on who their child turns out to be. My parents are huge role models for me, and thankfully they are good ones. They have taught me what it means to be kind and caring as well as smart and motivated. They have influenced my moral code and have set my standards high because they know and love me. I too will always want to please them and are so thankful for their influence in my life.
“What [my ears] heard was a signal, a call through time, which was answered with a mounting conviction: that never again would I allow myself to be made a foot soldier in a conflict I did not understand”(181).
This was another a turning point for Westover in the novel. She describes her determination to never be caught up in something she does not understand and uses the reference to war to allude to the damage it can cause. This shows her growing independence and freedom from the constraints of her youth.
This is another decision that I believe all people must make at some point in their lives. There are always going to be conflicts to get involved in, but the decision must be made to only fight for something you understand. This choice shows true independence and a strong character.
“It’s comforting to think the defect is mine, because that means it is under my power”(195).
At this point, Westover is trying to justify her brother’s actions. He is a role model for her and, in the Mormon religion, a man can do no wrong. Therefore, she feels like she must justify his abusive actions somehow because she knows that they are wrong. She chooses to take the blame for them, by convincing herself that the defect was hers and not his. She came to believe that she was the perpetrator of her own pain. But since it was her defect, she could control it. Whereas if it was her brothers, she would be at his mercy.
I think that many people justify others actions by placing the blame on themselves. As humans we like to be in control, and so it is easier for us to assume that our pain is somehow self inflicted rather then allowing it be because of someone else. If it is our own fault that we can justify it by saying that we do have power to stop it, while of course we don’t. But if it is out of our control then we struggle to understand why someone would do it, especially a loved one.
“My life was narrated for me by others. Their voices were forceful, emphatic, absolute. It had never occurred to me that my voice might be as strong as theirs”(197).
The realization that her voice might be just as strong as those who have told her how to live her whole life is a very important one in the story. Change comes with this realization because she begins to use her voice and gain an even greater understanding of the world around her.
There are many people in the world today whose lives are dictated by those around them. They stay quiet and let those with loud voices do the talking and directing. But each person has a voice, and whether loud or quiet, it is still important. Each person's voice is unique and strong. The choice to be brave and speak up is important.
It’s strange how you give the people you love so much power over you, I had written in my journal. But Shawn had more power over me than I could possibly have imagined. He had defined me to myself, and there’s no greater power then that”(199).
This quote comes from Westover reflecting on her childhood with an abusive brother. He had “defined her to herself”, meaning that he had always told her what she was and she had believed him. The words were so frequent that she came to believe that even the awful things he told her were true. She allowed his voice to be louder then her own, because she loved him and trusted him.
I think that the issue of defining is a trap that many fall into in relationships. A healthy relationship consists of each person building the other up and encouraging them to be the best version of themselves. But too often, one person can bring the other down or try to make them into someone that they are not. This is unhealthy but happens because one person trusts the other and loves them too much to believe that they would purposely hurt them.
“‘Women are made differently. They don’t have this ambition.Their ambition is for children.’ [...] ‘But what if you were a woman, and somehow you felt exactly as you do now?’ [...] ‘I’d know something was wrong with me’”(229).
This is what Westover has been told ever since she was young, that a woman’s ambition should be only for children. When she goes to college, she finds out that one of her friends has the same mindset. Westover uses this section to explain the cultural challenges that she had to overcome in order to ever do anything with her life. Everyone around her was telling her that she could do nothing but be a mother, but she knew deep down that she was capable of much more.
This mindset is so unbelievably unfair. It is so wrong to tell someone, especially a woman, what she can or cannot be. Especially in the United States, each person is entitled to their own dreams and I do not think that anyone should be able to stand in the way of that. Being a woman, I am a firm believer that women can do everything just as well as a man can, and I hate to hear someone demean women. This mindset is thankfully much less common today, but there are still a few cases.
“The wind is just wind. You can withstand these gusts on the ground, so you can withstand them in the air. There is no difference. Except the difference you make in your head”(237).
Westover uses this quote to remind her readers that they are stronger than they think. She says that the wind is just wind, no matter where it is. This connotes the idea that challenges are just challenges and that they are always conquerable. At this point in the novel, she unveils a key aspect of her character, she is fearless. Or at least much more fearless than most people. This becomes important because it also gives her perseverance.
If people could simply convince themselves that they are capable of more than they believe then I think that the world would be a better place. There are so many missed opportunities each day, and they are missed because the person is scared to fail. I think if we can take Westover’s words to heart and realize that challenges are only challenges and fear is only fear, then we will be able to overcome and move forward confidently.
“‘The most powerful determinant of who you are is inside of you’”(243).
Westover also uses this quote to teach her readers a lesson that she did not learn until she was much older. She reminds them that there will be many people who try to dictate how someone else can act, but that the true determinant of a person’s character is themselves. If they believe that they can do great things, then they can. It is about convincing the brain to be brave and confident.
It breaks my heart to see someone doubt themselves. I have always been the one to see the best in people, and I want them to see their potential as well. Each person is unique and unbelievably talented. All it takes to really flourish in life is to truly believe it.
“Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds”(257).
In this quote, the author reminds her readers that they are in control of their own minds. She even draws their thoughts to the civil rights movement by using the words “emancipate” and “slavery”. These words remind readers that true freedom comes from themselves, and that they should strive to break free of any chains holding them back.
Our minds are the one thing that each person is completely in control of. Therefore, any handicaps that our brain has placed on us, are only fake because we could choose to overcome them. People often get trapped in a cycle of doubt and fear and do not realize that they have the power to change that. It is only when we overcome ourselves that we can free our minds.
“If I yielded now, I would lose more than an argument. I would lose custody of my own mind. This was the price I was being asked to pay, I understood that now. What my father wanted to cast from me wasn’t a demon: it was me”(304).
Custody of her own mind is something that Westover stresses the importance of over and over in her novel. She realizes at this point that her family cannot accept her the way she is and that they want to cast out not just a demon in her, but her herself. They want the Tara they knew, and that is just not who she is anymore.
It is unfair that Westover’s family could not accept her as she was. They were too set in their ways and could not deal with the change in their daughter. Especially because that change brought her away from the strict Mormon doctrine that they followed. Westover escaped it and her father especially was furious and probably saw it as his duty to “cleanse” his sinful daughter and bring her back. I think that there are many people, not only in the Mormon religion, who try to rule over others lives. The truth is that each person has a choice, a chance to decide how they want to live their lives, and it is personal.
“Guilt is the fear of one’s own wretchedness. It has nothing to do with other people”(327-28).
Westover addresses a very common feeling in this quote. I think that she purposely bluntly defines guilt because she knows it is something that many of her readers live with. She tells them that is fear, and that it has nothing to do with other people. But, as the other quotes have shown, fear is conquerable because it is of the brain which is controllable. I think that she defines it so that her readers can understand what they are dealing with, and then reminds them that they can overcome it.
When people are guilty, they usually assume that it because of something someone else said or did or made them do. But the truth is that guilt is truly about the fear of ourselves. We are frightened by things that we have done and therefore feel guilty about them. But, I think that Westover only addressed it so that we would know what we are up against. It was not meant to be discouraging, but rather encouraging because fear is of the mind and each person can control their own mind.
Tara Westover, the author and protagonist, is explaining the history of her education in this excerpt. It is not what one might consider “normal”, because she was not taught geometry and english, but rather of survival and independence. Her family believed in a more applicable education rather then one of numbers. It is still an education. She also says that change is never fundamental only cyclical, which foreshadows a large change to come in the novel.
This quote made me ponder the differences in education even today. There are public, private, and home schools, as well as different subjects and different teachers educating their students. I firmly believe that every person receives a different education as they grow up. Life experiences along with schooling shapes one’s knowledge of the world, and their future as well. Westover’s explanation was only cyclical not fundamental, meant that she could expect it. The word cycle makes me think of return, or of a pattern, which means that it was predictable. While this would be nice, I think that change is fundamental in life. It is not easy to expect, but rather happens at the most interesting moments.
“Her eyes are pleasant but unoccupied, as if she’s observing a staged drama”(30).
Westover is describing her grandmother in this quote, using a simile to give readers a deeper understanding of her personality. She compares her eyes to those of someone watching a stages drama. Leaving the reader imagine what that might look like. I see her as being politely interested, but vacant because the situation does not directly affect her. In addition, I imagine the look to be somewhat condescending as well, pleasant but slightly superior.
Westover is describing a look that I see too often in people. It is a look of aloofness, pleasant but truly uninterested. This is an attribute that many people have because on the surface they want to look compassionate and kind, but underneath there is a sense of selfishness that all humans possess. She refers to the eyes being “unoccupied” to communicate the absence of true compassion. To me, unoccupied also refers to someone whose thoughts are not their own. Not in a supernatural way, but in a way that shows that they have let someone else tell them how to think, live, and be.
“College is extra school for people too dumb to learn the first time around”(41).
This is the opinion of Westover’s father in the memoir. He repeatedly reminds his family that school is simply a way for the government to brainwash children and that they would have no part of it. He tells his son who is considering going to college what he thinks about the idea in this quote.
I had to re-read this sentence to make sure I had understood it correctly. I strongly disagree with his statement of course, instead believing that college is a continuation of education, and is only for those who are smart enough to “learn the first time around.” I do acknowledge that there are many who hold the same beliefs as Mr. Westover. They insist that college is not necessary and that learning a trade is much more valuable. I agree that it an be worthwhile, but currently most jobs require at least a bachelor’s degree and many require much more. The better schooling a person has can directly influence their job and how much money they are making.
“The truth is this: I am not a good daughter. I am a traitor, a wolf among sheep; there is something different about me and that difference is not good. I want to bellow, to weep into my father’s knees and promise never to do it again. But wolf that I am, I am still above lying and anyway he would sniff the lie”(148).
This is the point in her life when Westover realizes that she is truly different. She wants to be submissive and obey her father, but knows that it is wrong. For a young Mormon girl, I can imagine that this was a terrifying situation. She had been taught all her life that men are dominant, so for her to realize that she was a “wolf among sheep” was huge. I also think that Westover used the animals to further convey her emotions at the time. Sheep are associated with innocence and purity, which is what her family was compared to. Then, she compared herself to a wolf, because she felt like she was dangerous and was a threat.
This moment of self discovery comes to every person at different times. For some it is when they are in their teens or younger, and for others it is not until they are much older. But it still has to happen. Children are taught by their parents what to believe and how to act, but there comes a point when each person must decide for themselves how they want to be. Their childhood and experiences are influential in that choice, but it is theirs alone.
“I believed then -- and a part of me will always believe -- that my father’s words ought to be my own”(172).
Westover purposely used hyphens to differentiate between the present in the novel, and her real life commentary on the situation. She is able to explain to readers that she still feels this way and thinks that she probably always will to an extent. Her father had such an influence on her that some part of her still wants to follow in his footsteps and please him.
Parents have a large influence on who their child turns out to be. My parents are huge role models for me, and thankfully they are good ones. They have taught me what it means to be kind and caring as well as smart and motivated. They have influenced my moral code and have set my standards high because they know and love me. I too will always want to please them and are so thankful for their influence in my life.
“What [my ears] heard was a signal, a call through time, which was answered with a mounting conviction: that never again would I allow myself to be made a foot soldier in a conflict I did not understand”(181).
This was another a turning point for Westover in the novel. She describes her determination to never be caught up in something she does not understand and uses the reference to war to allude to the damage it can cause. This shows her growing independence and freedom from the constraints of her youth.
This is another decision that I believe all people must make at some point in their lives. There are always going to be conflicts to get involved in, but the decision must be made to only fight for something you understand. This choice shows true independence and a strong character.
“It’s comforting to think the defect is mine, because that means it is under my power”(195).
At this point, Westover is trying to justify her brother’s actions. He is a role model for her and, in the Mormon religion, a man can do no wrong. Therefore, she feels like she must justify his abusive actions somehow because she knows that they are wrong. She chooses to take the blame for them, by convincing herself that the defect was hers and not his. She came to believe that she was the perpetrator of her own pain. But since it was her defect, she could control it. Whereas if it was her brothers, she would be at his mercy.
I think that many people justify others actions by placing the blame on themselves. As humans we like to be in control, and so it is easier for us to assume that our pain is somehow self inflicted rather then allowing it be because of someone else. If it is our own fault that we can justify it by saying that we do have power to stop it, while of course we don’t. But if it is out of our control then we struggle to understand why someone would do it, especially a loved one.
“My life was narrated for me by others. Their voices were forceful, emphatic, absolute. It had never occurred to me that my voice might be as strong as theirs”(197).
The realization that her voice might be just as strong as those who have told her how to live her whole life is a very important one in the story. Change comes with this realization because she begins to use her voice and gain an even greater understanding of the world around her.
There are many people in the world today whose lives are dictated by those around them. They stay quiet and let those with loud voices do the talking and directing. But each person has a voice, and whether loud or quiet, it is still important. Each person's voice is unique and strong. The choice to be brave and speak up is important.
It’s strange how you give the people you love so much power over you, I had written in my journal. But Shawn had more power over me than I could possibly have imagined. He had defined me to myself, and there’s no greater power then that”(199).
This quote comes from Westover reflecting on her childhood with an abusive brother. He had “defined her to herself”, meaning that he had always told her what she was and she had believed him. The words were so frequent that she came to believe that even the awful things he told her were true. She allowed his voice to be louder then her own, because she loved him and trusted him.
I think that the issue of defining is a trap that many fall into in relationships. A healthy relationship consists of each person building the other up and encouraging them to be the best version of themselves. But too often, one person can bring the other down or try to make them into someone that they are not. This is unhealthy but happens because one person trusts the other and loves them too much to believe that they would purposely hurt them.
“‘Women are made differently. They don’t have this ambition.Their ambition is for children.’ [...] ‘But what if you were a woman, and somehow you felt exactly as you do now?’ [...] ‘I’d know something was wrong with me’”(229).
This is what Westover has been told ever since she was young, that a woman’s ambition should be only for children. When she goes to college, she finds out that one of her friends has the same mindset. Westover uses this section to explain the cultural challenges that she had to overcome in order to ever do anything with her life. Everyone around her was telling her that she could do nothing but be a mother, but she knew deep down that she was capable of much more.
This mindset is so unbelievably unfair. It is so wrong to tell someone, especially a woman, what she can or cannot be. Especially in the United States, each person is entitled to their own dreams and I do not think that anyone should be able to stand in the way of that. Being a woman, I am a firm believer that women can do everything just as well as a man can, and I hate to hear someone demean women. This mindset is thankfully much less common today, but there are still a few cases.
“The wind is just wind. You can withstand these gusts on the ground, so you can withstand them in the air. There is no difference. Except the difference you make in your head”(237).
Westover uses this quote to remind her readers that they are stronger than they think. She says that the wind is just wind, no matter where it is. This connotes the idea that challenges are just challenges and that they are always conquerable. At this point in the novel, she unveils a key aspect of her character, she is fearless. Or at least much more fearless than most people. This becomes important because it also gives her perseverance.
If people could simply convince themselves that they are capable of more than they believe then I think that the world would be a better place. There are so many missed opportunities each day, and they are missed because the person is scared to fail. I think if we can take Westover’s words to heart and realize that challenges are only challenges and fear is only fear, then we will be able to overcome and move forward confidently.
“‘The most powerful determinant of who you are is inside of you’”(243).
Westover also uses this quote to teach her readers a lesson that she did not learn until she was much older. She reminds them that there will be many people who try to dictate how someone else can act, but that the true determinant of a person’s character is themselves. If they believe that they can do great things, then they can. It is about convincing the brain to be brave and confident.
It breaks my heart to see someone doubt themselves. I have always been the one to see the best in people, and I want them to see their potential as well. Each person is unique and unbelievably talented. All it takes to really flourish in life is to truly believe it.
“Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds”(257).
In this quote, the author reminds her readers that they are in control of their own minds. She even draws their thoughts to the civil rights movement by using the words “emancipate” and “slavery”. These words remind readers that true freedom comes from themselves, and that they should strive to break free of any chains holding them back.
Our minds are the one thing that each person is completely in control of. Therefore, any handicaps that our brain has placed on us, are only fake because we could choose to overcome them. People often get trapped in a cycle of doubt and fear and do not realize that they have the power to change that. It is only when we overcome ourselves that we can free our minds.
“If I yielded now, I would lose more than an argument. I would lose custody of my own mind. This was the price I was being asked to pay, I understood that now. What my father wanted to cast from me wasn’t a demon: it was me”(304).
Custody of her own mind is something that Westover stresses the importance of over and over in her novel. She realizes at this point that her family cannot accept her the way she is and that they want to cast out not just a demon in her, but her herself. They want the Tara they knew, and that is just not who she is anymore.
It is unfair that Westover’s family could not accept her as she was. They were too set in their ways and could not deal with the change in their daughter. Especially because that change brought her away from the strict Mormon doctrine that they followed. Westover escaped it and her father especially was furious and probably saw it as his duty to “cleanse” his sinful daughter and bring her back. I think that there are many people, not only in the Mormon religion, who try to rule over others lives. The truth is that each person has a choice, a chance to decide how they want to live their lives, and it is personal.
“Guilt is the fear of one’s own wretchedness. It has nothing to do with other people”(327-28).
Westover addresses a very common feeling in this quote. I think that she purposely bluntly defines guilt because she knows it is something that many of her readers live with. She tells them that is fear, and that it has nothing to do with other people. But, as the other quotes have shown, fear is conquerable because it is of the brain which is controllable. I think that she defines it so that her readers can understand what they are dealing with, and then reminds them that they can overcome it.
When people are guilty, they usually assume that it because of something someone else said or did or made them do. But the truth is that guilt is truly about the fear of ourselves. We are frightened by things that we have done and therefore feel guilty about them. But, I think that Westover only addressed it so that we would know what we are up against. It was not meant to be discouraging, but rather encouraging because fear is of the mind and each person can control their own mind.